


I Love you, I love you more

by TotallyRadioactive15



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: 2nd June 2020, Episode Fix-it, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotallyRadioactive15/pseuds/TotallyRadioactive15
Summary: Episode fix it for tonight's (2nd June 2020), Callum knows Ben too well and forces him to talk.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 9
Kudos: 55





	I Love you, I love you more

**Author's Note:**

> So after literally crying for two hours after that episode I've decided to erase that last scene from my memory and I am trying to focus on the nice scenes we got instead.. so this is a continuation from the very very nice scene we got at the beginning!
> 
> Comments are massively appreciated, specially today as I'm feeling very emotional! with RL and these bloody boys that I love to much to walk away from! xx

Callum leant his head on the fluffy cushion he had nicked from Ben in the night looking towards that same man. He looked like an angel when he was asleep and Callum had the added bonus of seeing him without his normal sleep t-shirt on. There was something about skin contact with Ben that he loved, the feeling of him all warm and cuddly was literal perfection. He was already asleep when Ben had come in the night before so he had missed the younger man, missed there warm cuddles, whisperings about there day. soft lazy kisses that sometimes turned into more. 

Watching him sleep now though was something he treasured, those few moments where all his walls where down, and all that was left was this amazingly beautiful man that Callum loved more than life itself.   
He reached out and then hesitated before brushing his finger so so softly against the skin of Ben's back, He was literally in awe of how gorgeous this man was and how luckly he was, even if he didnt agree with what Ben did most of the time, as he had learnt over Christmas, Love forgives everything and god did he love Ben.   
It was in that moment that he was woken out of his thoughts with Ben's movements. 

'Ben, Ben' He said fully aware that he wouldnt have caught them but still saying tham anyway

'Its alright, Its alright, Its alright' He said again, reaching out to touch Ben's shoulder with one hand and chest with the other, grounding him.   
It was unusal for Ben to wake up from a nightmare but it hadnt happened it a while which filled Callum's mind with worry. 

'You okay?' He asked slowly as he brought his hand up to gently touch his cheek, something he's found himself doing alot recently  
Ben looked at him confused   
'You okay? okay?' He asked rubbing his hand over Ben's chest and then giving him the thumbs up  
Ben looked directly at Callum and then to his hand, nodded slightly 

'Yeah?' Callum asked putting his hand back on Ben's chest, wiggling his body pulling him closer to the smaller man.   
It was then that he noticed the red blood stain inside of Ben's left ear 

'Ben, your...' He started softly touching his cheek as he turned his head so he could get a better look   
'Your ears been bleeding' he told him leaning over Ben some more 

Ben looked up at Callum before fantastically touching his ear himself guiding his eyes to his finger and noticing Callum was right and that his ear had been bleeding.   
'You okay? Does it... Does it Hurt?' Callum asked concerned, Ben felt Callum's hot gaze upon him as he tried to come up with something, anything to stop the questions he didnt want to answer, not yet

'No, Its alright. The doctor said that this could happen' Ben told him quickly   
'Alright' Callum said pulling himself upwards and then back down so that he was now closer to Ben than he was before , he moved the fluffy pillow back towards his head and leant on it, hand covering his ear and bent at the elbow getting comfortable but still touching Ben.

'Listen, sorry I missed you when you got in last night' Callum told him, brushing his finger tips over Ben's arm that was now holding the duvet over him.   
'How was your night with lexi?' he asked softly moving his hand to once again to Ben's cheek   
'Your night' *signs night* with Lexi?

'Yeah, It was great' Ben told him looking around before focusing back onto Callum 'It was a real special night' He said awear that he sounded like a sap and instead looking up as he hand clutched the duvet hoping Callum wouldnt suspect anything 

Callum breaths heavily as he ran his arm up and down Ben's forearm, giving him a tiny smile   
He watched Ben move sensing something was defiantly up   
'Does your ear hurt? *signs ear*

'No' Ben told him 'No, I've had blood in my ear before, I can deal with it' Ben told him, It didnt hurt to much, not like it had the night before, it was more of a sting at this point although he suspected it would start to hurt more now he was awake. 

'When? you've never said-' Callum started  
'I'm going to go and make some toast' Ben interrupted him, he went to get out of the bed but instead Callum was one step ahead of him and was now holding him down, his body blankting his both underneath the same patch of duvet. 

Callum held onto Ben's wrists above his head, holding him still until he was sure he wasnt going to try and escape. He then let go and instead wound his hands around Ben;s face, stilling his movements and forcing him to look up. 

'Talk to me Ben' Callum said slowly   
Ben gazed up at Callum, this man above him knew him way to well, he couldnt decide whether that was a good or a bad thing in this moment. Forcing him to talk was what he needed, as he was never going to admit to anything otherwise but equally somethings he just didnt want to talk about

'Why didnt you tell me about the blood?' Callum asked   
Ben looked down, he breathed heavily before looking back up meeting Callum's eyes.   
'I didnt want people to pity me' Ben told him honestly, well partially   
'By people, you mean me?' Callum asked feeling disheartened that Ben could even think that about him   
Ben nodded, eyes slowly filling with tears

'Oh Ben..' Callum sighed rubbing his thumb underneath Ben's eyes 

'You need to stop believing that I'm with you out of pity, and that you are not the man I feel in love with, no matter what happens whether you can hear or you cant, whether you do dodgy deals becuase you need your dads appoval and love or you go straight and become a priest, I honestly dont care, beacuse I LOVE YOU Ben, I dont love you beceause I feel like I have too...because of whats happened, In fact i love you more because you of how you've coped, how you are still living your life, yeah you have bad days but we all get those but you Ben Mitchell are te strongest man know and despite all odds I still love you, I LOVE YOU' Callum finished he had man every effort to speak slowly and clearly to make sure Ben caught everything he had said.

Ben looked up and bit his bottom lip gently   
Callum smiled 'Please tell me you got all of that! I dont fancy having to write to try and write that all down, you know how long that would take me!' Callum laughed   
Ben smiled up at him, softly laughing himself 'I got it' Ben told him sincerely

They laid in silence for a moment, Ben moving his legs apart so that Callum could lay in the gap making them both more comfortable 

Callum smiled down at Ben, he contiuned to stroke his thumbs over Ben's skin, his fingers surrounding the back of Ben's ears. He felt safe here, in Callum's arms, so safe he knew he could wear his heart on his sleeve and it not matter quite so much as it did when they where out in public for all to see this different side of him. 

'What if my ears get worse Callum? What if the operation doesn work? I'm scared that I'm never going to be normal again' Ben told him tears now leaking out of the corner of his eyes knwoing deep down that the worst had already happened

'If the operation doesnt work or they get worse then WE- *uses his hand to point to Ben and then to himself* - will get through it together, You'll always be normal Ben, or as normal as you can be!' He said giving Ben a cheeky smile 

'It will just be a new normal for the both of us' he finished leaning down to press a short kiss to his lips. 

'The new normal being that I will never be able to hear my little girl again, never be able to hear you tell me that you love me again' Ben told him letting more tears fall   
In that moment Ben wished he had never gone with his dad the night before, yes he could have been waking up to more devastating news but after finally realising what it had cost him made him feel so much worst...   
Once more he had put his dad happiness in front of the man and daughter he loved uncontionally, and that feeling nearly caused his own heart to break in two. 

'You'll aways be able to hear her, it might not be how you used to by phycially hearing her but you'll still know when she's sad, and when shes her sassy self, telling you what to do and how to dance, your still laugh with her and take care of her when's shes sick, you'll still her dad, and that will never EVER change' Callum told him, again slowly so Ben could take it all in. 

'And as for me and my love for you, You might not be able to hear me say it, but you will always be able to feel it... I want you to feel how much I love you' Callum told him, He removed his hands from aroud Ben's face for a moment so he could strip himself of his own sleep t-shirt, before replacing one of them. He used the other one to reach for Ben;s arm that was laying besides there bodies, puling it up and pressing the palm of his hand over his naked chest, more importantly over his heart.   
'My heart beats for you Ben and It always will, you dont need to hear me say it' Callum told him honestly 

Ben couldnt stop the tears now as he felt the thump thump of Callum's heart underneath his palm, feeling the relive he had fel only days ago when he had his hand against the speaker, Callum was right, like always even thought he couldnt hear he needed to start using his other senses to make up for that fact, he needed to create a new normal. 

Callum too a deep breath in before blowing out heavily.

'I know that you are somewhat of a bad boy, and I know why you do the things you do... I dont always like what you get up too, and honestly I dont need to know the ins and the outs... but please Ben, promise me you wont stop talking to me, even if its something stupid like you accidently walked into a door and now you think you've lost more hearing... the only thing that matters to me is that you are okay' 

Ben nodded slowly 'Promise' He said lifting his head up so he could nuzzle his nose against Callums. 

Callum laughed as he heard Ben's stomach rubbing beneath them.  
'Why dont I go and make you some toast... whilst you get comfy' Callum told him kissing his lips 'we can have breakfast in Bed and a bit of us time?' Callum asked   
'What do ya think?   
Ben nodded   
'I love you' he whispered smiling   
'I love you more' Callum told him as he signed it, smiling back himself as he pulled himself off of Ben's body

Once Callum was gone, he pulled himself back up the bed and re-arranged the duvet, he looked over to where Callum had been and nicked back the fluffy pillow, placing it behind his head. He squeezed his eyes shutting suddenly relising he still had his contacts in and couldnt remember where he had left his glasses. 

Opening his eyes he blinked a few times trying to settle the itchyness he was now feeling as he looked around the room.   
He may have not said everything he was feeling, or even spoken about what had happened the night before, but he felt like one weight had been lifted for the time being, he would struggle with the rest as they came. 

Callum walked back in moments later, with a tray, this time there was no rose in a vase and no smily egg on the plate, instead there was a plate of toast, lightly buttered, a glass of water and two pills, along side them where his glasses. 

He looked up at Callum who was sliding the tray onto his lap as he got back into the bed, scooting next to Ben and wrapping his arm around his head, resting it on the pillow behind him 

'Thanks' Ben told him as he took hold of the glasses. he quickly took out his contacts placing them carefully on the beside table before pushing his glasses on, gazing down at the pills as he gave Callum a questioning look 

'Just in case you ARE in any pain' Callum said smiling causing Ben to smile back. 

He was right, no matter what he told himself Callum knew him, inside and out.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any storylines, locations or characters used. All Rights belong to EastEnders and BBC


End file.
